‘Can I ever move on with this guilt on my shoulders?’
Waylon wasn’t even aware he was clutching onto a stuffed animal when Dave walked in. They both felt awkward. What had felt so right, so natural and so familiar in the bathroom, now felt weird and unsettling.
The coffee smelled good and it gave them both something to focus on, so they didn’t have to address the elephant in the room. Finally Dave took the initiative.
“Are you okay?”
Waylon looked startled and then shrugged.
“No, I’m not. But that has nothing to do with you…” he put the cuddly toy down next to him on the couch and took a deep breath. “It’s just that I have no idea how I’m supposed to live on. My brain keeps showing me all these scenarios of how I should have been acting…”
Waylon grabbed his head and shook it, in some unconscious attempt to remove those images.
“It was an accident,” Dave put forward, making Waylon snort.
“Nice try, but we both know better. Tristan should have been my main priority.”
Dave nodded. He felt the anger coming to the surface again, but didn’t say anything. One part of him wanted to lash out and hurt Waylon as much as possible, but another part of him realized this could have happened to him too. He’d had moments where he was preoccupied with Tristan around. He’d been lucky. Nothing serious had happened. But life had a way of distracting you from the most important things. The most important people. This could have happened to him too. That insight made him feel more sympathetic than he ever thought possible.
“He should have been,” Dave sounded hurt, but calm. “You’ve been careless. But so have I. You had told me about the conflict with your producer, so I knew you were absentminded. I could have asked my father to take care of him, but I knew he was looking forward to his visit with Emma, so I didn’t want to bother him. Now I wish I did. So you see…I have those scenarios too.”
Waylon looked surprised, but didn’t respond. He leaned back with his eyes closed, giving Dave the opportunity to look at him. And he did.
During their physical encounter in the shower Waylon’s vocabulary had been limited. All he had muttered was how he’d missed Dave. Over and over again. Dave hadn’t been talkative either. He had lost himself in Waylon and he had cried on his husband’s back, while Waylon had softly caressed every part of his body he could reach. It had been soothing and loving. So normal and yet so bizarre.
Afterwards there had been silence. Both men afraid to jeopardize their fragile truce. And that fear was still very present.
***
He watched the man’s approach with mixed feelings. Basically Brian Wheatley wasn’t really his type. The age gap was very prominent and his appearance wasn’t really remarkable. Heads didn’t turn when Brian walked into the room. Luke had always been an attention magnet and even Mason Jarvis had managed to elicit some interest from strangers. But Brian was a nondescript figure. He didn’t light up a room with his smile.
On the other hand Brian revealed himself as a very tender and giving lover. It had reminded Noah of his few experiences with Luke. It didn’t get his blood pumping as the rough stuff did, but the loving approach had felt familiar and nice.
So Noah smiled when Brian took a seat at the bar and he felt a little uncomfortable when the man didn’t return it.
“Mr. Wheatley,” he said in his professional tone, “Good to see you again. What can I get you?”
“The usual,” Brian said, sounding impersonal and aloof.
Noah felt thrown by this cold reception, but then realized something important. Brian was trying to protect him. He didn’t want him to get in trouble for flirting with the clients or finding out about his new job on the side.
As he poured Brian’s drink, Noah thought back on his night with this man. It had been special. The older man had been extremely attentive to all of his needs and he’d felt sheltered and safe.
They had talked a lot. Brian had asked about Luke and he had shared how the evil doctor had stolen his boyfriend. His new lover obviously hadn’t been in town for a while, because he didn’t know much about all the latest developments. He had a meeting scheduled with Lucinda and he asked Noah him to tell him everything, so he wouldn’t put his foot in something delicate with Lucinda.
Noah had understood completely. He knew Lucinda and had always been a little scared of her. So he was very willing to inform Brian about everything that had been going on with Luke. When he’d mentioned the whole Zoë affair, Brian had been a little startled.
“Really? Her uncle showed up? But how did he even know she was being raised by two guys?”
Noah had hesitated to answer and Brian somehow had jumped to the right conclusions.
“Don’t tell me you informed him?” Brian had laughed, “That’s so wicked. Note to self: don’t make Noah angry.”
They had both laughed and Noah had revealed how he had put his plan into action. Brian had been in awe and the story apparently had aroused him, because their second encounter had been more passionate.
All in all, an enjoyable experience with two hundred dollars as a nice bonus. He smiled his best smile when he put the drink in front of Brian. Noah wouldn’t mind more nights with this man.
The drink seemed to soften Brian a little and there was a spark of interest in his eyes when he looked Noah over.
“Long shift?”
“Not tonight. My colleague will be here any minute.”
Brian nodded, taking another sip.
“Any plans?”
Noah grinned seductively. “Not yet.”
Brian gave him a crooked smile. “Now you have.”
He put the empty glass on the counter. “Please put it on my bill. Room 783.”
Noah nodded with a smile. “Consider it done.”
“Thanks. Have a nice evening,” Brian was all aloof again, but this time Noah looked right through the act and played along, feeling all confident.
“I’m sure I will.”
The minute Noah knocked, Brian opened the door, but when Noah tried to kiss him, he was pulled into the room.
“Not with the door open,” Brian muttered and Noah grinned. Of course. Discreet as ever. He walked a little further, so Brian could close the door, but to Noah’s surprise he didn’t. On the contrary. Brian was leaving!
“What the…”
“Enjoy your evening…” Brian looked absolutely disgusted right now and Noah frowned in confusion. What was going on? “And for the record…your service is extremely overpriced. You’re not that good.”
Noah watched the closing of the door in shock and then turned when he heard a female voice.
“Please come in, Mr. Mayer.”
