He was impersonal, to the point, abrupt and effective. Luke understood exactly why Reid selected this real estate agent to help him. Well, to help them.
He still couldn’t believe he was house hunting with Reid. It was all happening so fast, but Luke started to believe that it was a natural part of his relationship with this man. And although he slowed down the process considerably by needing time to get Noah out of his system, he was all ready now. With a happy grin he looked at the driver and found Reid looking quickly at him too.
Without words, his eyes asked: Are you okay?
Luke nodded.
“I’m glad I had some sleep,” Luke didn’t want to think about the nightmare he had and focused on the energy he felt. “House hunting with you is quite a strenuous event.”
Reid obviously received it as a compliment, because he smiled.
“No second best choices for me. I want the best or I can do without.” The look he gave Luke made sure he wasn’t just talking about houses and Luke put this hand on Reid’s knee.
“That’s one of the things I love about you,” he admitted, still a little shy. “You know what you want and you made sure I knew too.”
“Don’t turn me into this super hero that I’m not, Luke. It took me a long time to find the nerve to be honest about the effect you have on me.”
“It did? You seemed so sure about your feelings and you were so honest about it…”
“I was sure, but honest…no, that took a while. After our first kiss – for the life of me, I still don’t know where I found the courage to do that! – my secret was out. My cover was blown. My whole well thought out act of arrogant jerk that hated you was down the drain, so that forced me to be honest.”
Luke turned his body a little so he could watch Reid more comfortably.
“That was an act?”
“Hell yes,” Reid laughed out loud. “Well, not the arrogant jerk part. I am an arrogant jerk, according to the ruling social etiquette, that is. But hating you? I hated the fact I couldn’t think straight when you were around, but that’s it. You had me the second or third time I laid my eyes on you.”
Luke produced a soft “What?” and Reid grinned.
“Shocking for you?”
“Shocking is not the right word,” Luke ruffled this blond locks, “but I just didn’t know. I never suspected…I never noticed.”
“Well, you only had eyes for our beloved Mr. Mayer, so I’m not surprised.”
Luke took a deep breath and shook his head.
“In retrospect there was no real love left when you came to Oakdale,” Luke bent his head. “It was just me hanging on to a relationship that hadn’t worked for a long time and Noah hanging on to this reliable safe house he always had a room in. It had nothing to do with respect or a desire to grow as human beings, and everything to do with holding each other back in fear of change.”
“Pretty profound,” Reid stated.
“Well, I’ve done a lot of soul searching after you forced me to take a honest look at my connection with Noah.”
“Who did what now?”
Luke laughed. “Unknowingly you did. You told me in no uncertain terms how you felt about me and my feelings were all over the place. And it made me realize I had to choose between holding on to a picture in my head of me and Noah living happily ever after or diving into unknown waters.”
“Difficult choice,” Reid was very serious. “Whole hordes of people keep hanging on to what they know, even if that picture makes them miserable.”
“I know. My mother has been a big role model, I’m afraid.”
“I’m glad you took another road.” Reid squeezed Luke’s hand that was still on his knee.
Luke pressed back. “So am I. Very glad, I might add.”
“Why did you?”
Luke chuckled. “Angling for a compliment, are we?”
Reid smiled. “Not really, but feel free to shower me with them whenever you feel the need.” They laughed and Reid continued in a more serious tone: “But I really like to know why you decided to take the unknown and scary option. I do realize I’m not easy to be with.”
“I guess it all boiled down to a choice between fear and love,” Luke said softly. “At first it was all about fear. The way you make me feel…it scares the living daylights out of me…”
“Tell me about it,” Reid murmured. “You have the same effect on me.”
Luke looked a little more confident after that interruption and continued: “That loss of control over my own feelings…I felt so vulnerable, so inexperienced, so insignificant, so damn young around you…it made me turn to Noah. My family provides me with enough chaos and Noah was…”
“Boring,” Reid finished and they both laughed.
“Not completely fair or true, but he’s definitely not as intense and exciting as you are. Then again…you’re unique.”
“And don’t ever forget that,” Reid grinned, but getting serious again the next second. “But Noah rejected you…”
Luke chuckled. “Yeah. So he wasn’t that boring… he really surprised me with that.”
“Maybe he rejected you to add to your guilt, so he could made you jump through his hoops whenever he felt insecure about himself.”
“That’s a viable option,” Luke agreed. “I think you just described the dynamics of our relationship in a nutshell.”
Reid nodded, pointing to the car before him.
“I think we’re at house number 3. Mr. What’shisname is turning off to this drive way. But before we leave the car to look at this house… that looks great, by the way, I want you to know that you’re not inexperienced, insignificant, or even damn young to me. Quite the contrary, in fact. All I’ve known is work. This whole concept of being in love, sharing…it’s foreign to me. There’s a lot you can teach me and there’s a lot you’ve already taught me.”
The question marks on Luke’s face made Reid smile.
“Who’s angling now, my love?”
He parked the car, turned off the engine and looked Luke in his eyes.
“But let me summarize: you introduced me to a very important person I never really understood…” his thumb caressed Luke’s chin…”Me. I came in touch with me, Luke, and you showed me how. How insignificant would you call that?”
Their kiss was short and intense and their “I love you” was in perfect stereo. With his heart bursting, Reid stepped out of the car and reached for the hand of his man. So into each other, they almost forgot their surroundings.
