“So that’s what it’s all about!”
Bob’s voice made all three of them startle, but all his focus was on his wife.
“Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”
Luke and Reid both felt uncomfortable and Reid decided to act.
“Maybe it’s better if we…”
Bob raised his hand as a stopping sign.
“That’s very considerate of you,” while emphasizing the word, his eyes were on Kim and his message was clear: could you please give credit where credit is due? He turned to Reid again and continued: “I really want to continue this conversation in the privacy of my office and I want you both to hear what I have to say about all this. I understand Kim wanted to clear the air, so let’s do that. I also have some new information about Damian, so we can discuss that too.”
They let Kim and Bob lead the way and followed silently, communicating with their eyes and facial expressions. They had no idea what to expect.
After they all found a seat, Luke felt for Kim. She seemed upset and by the look of things, she wasn’t very thrilled Bob involved Reid in this conversation. But by the feel of things – Reid was sitting next to him on the small couch – Reid wasn’t very happy either. Especially when Bob placed a chair next to Kim’s and took her hand.
“Honey, what is this all about?”
“You’ve heard what it’s all about,” she replied, getting emotional. “I think you see Reid as the son you’ve always wanted. That you would have been better off with him,” she didn’t look at Reid, “than with Chris.”
“But those are two separate issues,” Bob softly said, but loud enough to be heard by Luke and Reid.
“It’s true. If Reid would have been my son, I would be a proud father. He is very special to me. Not only because of his tremendous doctor skills, but also because of his personality. He makes me laugh, he keeps me alert, he challenges me and most importantly, I trust him completely and I get him. Well, at least most of the times.” He gave Reid a quick wink and received a glance of a smile.
Before Kim could finish her interruption “And Chris…” Bob tapped her hand and continued: “My relationship with Chris is different. Not worse. Different. I’m not saying anything new by admitting I don’t understand Chris. Most of the time I honestly don’t know why he’s making the choices he’s making. So that’s a whole different kind of challenge. But it doesn’t mean I love Chris any less. Give me some credit here. My heart is big enough to love a lot of people and my relationship with Reid doesn’t take away from my love for Chris.”
“But you’re always comparing them,” Kim wasn’t willing to give up her truth yet.
“No dear, that’s your department. I see them both for who they really are, including their strong points and their character flaws.” He chuckled at Reid’s raised eyebrow. “Yes Dr. Oliver, even you have some of those.”
Reid didn’t respond. This whole conversation was fascinating to him and he didn’t want to disrupt it.
“But that’s just it,” Kim’s irritation level started to rise again. “Reid’s character flaws are somehow funny to you, but when Chris does something wrong, you’re all disappointed and severe on him. It’s just not fair.”
“I understand why you feel that way, Kim. But I’m pretty sure I would feel the same disappointment if Reid made the kind of choices our son has made,” Bob noticed Kim wanted to come to Chris’s defense and he shook his head.
“No Kim, for once don’t start trivializing his behavior. Acknowledging Chris’s mistakes, doesn’t mean I don’t love him or love him less than I would if he did everything right. Ignoring his weaker points isn’t a demonstration of unconditional love. It’s just the opposite. If we’re not willing to look at those weaknesses, in ourselves and others, we don’t accept the whole package, but just the parts we like or we can handle. And that’s not love. That’s denial.”
Bob’s little speech hit Luke between the eyes. The way he held his breath for a minute, made them all look at him and Kim, ready for somebody else as the centre of attention, asked: “Is something wrong, Luke?”
He looked a little embarrassed, but answered anyway: “No, but Bob’s words struck a cord. Big time. I’m looking at it from two points of view. First, I recognize my parents’ behavior. I’ve made many mistakes, but somehow they always minimized them. And you’re exactly right, Bob. It was presented as love and I’m sure they really believe it was the loving thing to do. But looking at it from my personal point of view, I didn’t learn boundaries. And somehow it also sent the message that my mistakes had to be covered up to be lovable.”
Reid didn’t say a word, but the arm around his shoulder spoke volumes.
Kim was silent too and she was obviously ruminating on Luke’s reaction. Her eyes softened and Bob smiled. He knew his wife. She was making herself accessible to a new way of thinking.
“I’ve honestly never looked at it that way. So thank you, Luke,” her smile was sincere. “It’s not that I don’t feel disappointed, but admitting that, even to myself, made me feel like an horrible mother. Like I’m betraying my own son.”
Luke moved to the edge of the couch to narrow the gap between them and then smiled at Kim.
“I think you betray him by not admitting his mistakes. It’s like saying ‘I can’t handle the thought of you not being perfect’. And that’s not what you want to bring across. You want him to know you love him, including all the bad choices and character flaws.”
“Wow,” Kim leaned into her chair and shook her head. “This is an eye opener.”
She watched Luke leaning back too, smiling to the man next to him. For the first time she really saw what was going on. The pride and admiration on Reid’s face when he looked at the young man, his thumb almost playfully caressing Luke’s chin for a moment, the love between them. She felt ashamed. Sincerely and utterly ashamed. And, she had to admit, she feared Reid’s rejection to any approach she’d make. So she played it safe and turned to her husband. Her loving husband, who smiled at her as if she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“I owe you and Reid an apology,” in the corner of her eye she saw Reid’s face and it didn’t look too aloof, so she gave him a quick smile and turned back to her safe haven. “I’ve been acting all jealous and judgmental and grouchy and so on and really would like the opportunity to show you,” this time she found the courage to look in Reid’s eyes and they weren’t as cold as she expected, “that that’s just a small part of me. And I also want to find out what my husband and people like Katie and Luke have discovered about you, that I haven’t been able to see yet. Are you willing to give me that chance?”
Reid smiled. “I’m game. What did you have in mind?”
Kim chuckled. “I don’t know, to be honest…how about I’ll cook dinner?”
She didn’t understand why all three men laughed out loud and Bob was kind enough to let her in on it: “Reid is famous for his appetite.”
“Ah good,” Kim stood up. “That’s a date, then. When?”
Reid grinned. “Now?”
Kim laughed and winked to Bob. “I see what you mean.”
After comparing their plans, Reid almost got what he wished for… that same evening was most convenient and after a friendly “see you guys later” and a kiss for her husband, Kim left the room.
“Well,” Bob rubbed his hands, “That was quite a productive meeting, wasn’t it?” He was very pleased with himself and it showed. “I think I handled that very well.”
They all laughed.
“If I agree, will you sign my adoption papers…Dad?”
Bob chortled with glee.
“I’ll think about it. But talking about dads…” he turned all serious and Luke saw it coming, “first results are not positive, I’m afraid. The blood work shows some abnormalities…”
Afraid Bob and Reid would become all medical on him, he asked point blank: “What do you think is wrong?”
Bob hesitated. “We might be looking at cancer.”
