His entrance was met with the same enthusiasm as the coffee and Reid smiled. Joining their guests was a good decision. Luke handed him a filled mug and they exchanged a quick look.
“Thanks.”
Before Luke could say or ask anything, Reid walked away and sat down on the couch, near the chess board. The way Seth was looking at the set made him hopeful.
“You play?”
Seth smiled, nodding. “Yeah, but it’s been quite a while.”
Reid felt how Luke sat down next to him, but stayed focused on the chess board. Even when Luke gave his uncle a fair warning.
“You better watch him, Uncle Seth. He’s pretty good.”
Pretty good? This time Reid didn’t bite, though. This understatement gave him the element of surprise and he liked that.
He registered how Luke turned and sat with his back leaning to Reid’s shoulder and by tilting his head, Reid watched Faith finding comfort close to Luke’s chest. With his arm around his sister, Luke struck up a conversation with Kim and Katie about writing.
On the other sofa, near the fire, Bob, Holden and Emma looked relaxed with each other and he felt himself smiling when Ethan found his way on his lap.
Nathalie looked a little lost, standing next to the chess board, but when Seth invited her to sit with him, she became radiant.
He felt his body relaxing and when he met Seth’s searching glance, he gave him a quick smile. I’m fine.
“Okay, Uncle Seth. Show me what you’re made of,” with a gallant hand movement Reid offered his opponent the first move.
Reid had to admit that Luke’s uncle knew how to play. While Seth was contemplating his next move, Reid looked down at Ethan. The youngster had settled against his chest and was watching the game with his thumb in his mouth. Reid’s thumb was stroking the boy’s upper arm and he wouldn’t be surprised if Ethan fell asleep on his lap within the next five minutes. He felt a familiar warmth.
Those Snyder boys sure knew how to touch his soul.
When Luke stood up and started asking around what their guests would like to drink, Reid acted like all his concentration was on the game. For some reason – and he honestly hadn’t figured out why, yet – he wanted to avoid direct contact. The unexpected flashlight made that very hard, though.
So he looked up and found Luke grinning, obviously very pleased with himself and with the picture he just made. Luke’s smile was so loving, Reid couldn’t do anything than smile back. Somehow it didn’t reach his eyes, though. He could feel it and he could see it in Luke’s face. He looked worried.
With an inner sense of failure, Reid turned back to the game. He just didn’t know how to handle this, so he focused on something he did know.
“Checkmate.”
***
Something was wrong.
Luke could actually feel a knot in his stomach, watching Reid’s back.
On the surface everything seemed okay. After all the drama at dessert, the evening turned out very nice and their guests had left in good spirits.
After that, they had cleared the dinner table together and put their dishwasher to work. They had left the kitchen hand in hand and they had made love. But something had changed. Luke couldn’t put his finger on it, but Reid felt…distant. Withdrawn. And it scared him, because he didn’t know why and he didn’t have a clue how to fix it.
He cuddled up to Reid’s back and let his arm find his way to Reid’s chest. His heart jumped when Reid covered it with a hand of his own.
“I love you,” Luke whispered at Reid’s neck and without any hesitation Reid replied.
“I love you too.”
Yes, on the surface everything seemed okay. Luke fell asleep with a frown.
***
And again he found himself sitting at the police station.
His “We must stop meeting like this”-greeting to Margo underlined his frustration and when he saw Luke bite his lip, he felt like a jerk. He realized how devastating this had to be for his boyfriend. Reid laid his arm on the back of Luke’s chair, touched by the sad smile that came his way. Angry with himself, because he didn’t know how to fix this detached mode he was in.
His right brain hemisphere had to be working overtime, Reid concluded, but somehow he couldn’t find a way to slow it down.
Luke was giving his account of Lily’s guest appearance and Reid forced himself to focus. He noticed Luke’s despondency, but for some reason he just couldn’t think of anything helpful to say. It drove him crazy, because he hated seeing Luke so sad and he hated even more that he knew he was only adding to it.
Somehow he did manage to register what Margo told them about the dead guy in his car. He turned out to be an acquaintance of one of the other escaped prisoners and although Lily hadn’t made any statement yet, Margo felt pretty sure that Lily had tried to frame Reid in some way. Helped out by the mentioned escape artist.
“We’ll get to the bottom of this, but you can have your car back.” Margo offered him the keys, but Reid shook his head.
“No thank you, I’ll buy a new one today.”
Luke frowned. Despite his financial abundance, he hated the indifferent consumer society. That car was perfectly fine!
“Why?”
“Because the thought of a dead guy on my back seat doesn’t appeal to me. And to be honest… knowing Lily had the car to herself… who knows what she’s done to it.”
Luke paled. His earlier nightmare flashed before his eyes. The car stalling, the seatbelt not working…
“You’re absolutely right,” Luke agreed and Reid gave him a quick smile.
“I know.”
After signing their statements and the confirmation that Luke really didn’t want to see Lily, Margo let them leave and Reid inhaled the fresh air.
In an attempt to lift this awkward thing between them, Reid ruffled Luke’s hair, but the sadness stayed.
“We need to talk, Reid.”
Reid took Luke’s hand and nodded.
“I know. But I can’t, right now. I acknowledge the detachment, Luke. I can see myself doing it. I just don’t know why and I need to figure that out before we can talk about it.”
“I disagree,” Luke sounded calm, although Reid could see panic in his eyes. “Talking about it could be just the way to find out what’s going on.”
“I know that’s how you handle things, Luke.” Reid shook his head, “but it’s not mine. I’m sorry. I need some time to make sense of all this.”
“Fine,” Luke shrugged. “I’ll leave you to that. Do you want me to drop you off at the car dealer?”
“I’ll walk.”
“Fine. Talk to you later.”
Without another look, word or kiss, Luke stepped behind the wheel and drove off. Leaving Reid in a daze. What just happened?
Finding a new car wasn’t a big deal. He just went with the same brand and type and only the color underlined he was driving a different car.
Luke’s car wasn’t parked outside, so he wasn’t surprised by the empty house. He was surprised by the loneliness that overwhelmed him.
He needed to figure out what was going on, or he could end up losing Luke and that thought gave him the creeps. He made himself coffee, fixed a sandwich and sat down in this office.
The whole house had Luke’s touch all over it, but this was his little corner of the world. The perfect place to do some serious soul-searching.
His thoughts took him back to yesterday’s dinner and the gun pointed at him. He leaned back in his chair, his hands folded behind his head. He’d felt in control. He knew he had set the alarm and he trusted the deal attached to it. If anyone trespassed, there would be security within minutes.
After seeing Lily’s full blown hate, he’d started to worry. Would they be there in time?
Regenerating the memories didn’t make him relive the fear, so he ruled out PTSD. He didn’t deny feeling affected by it, though.
Seeing Luke tense and upset, he had stowed away his own response to Lily’s threat and in reward of his efforts, Luke had snapped at him.
“Poor you,” Reid said out loud to himself and laughed. Could that be it? He got his feelings hurt and his famous self-defense mechanism had taken over? Was it that simple? He needed to tell Luke!
When he took out his phone, it started ringing and Reid smiled. Great timing, Snyder. But then he frowned at the screen. ID unknown.
