“Daddy?”
“Yes buddy?”
“Can I ask you something?”
Luke’s hand stopped brushing Handsome for a moment. He knew his son. That question was always the beginning of something emotional. So he took a deep breath and made his voice sound as calm as possible.
“Of course you can. What’s on your mind?”
For a moment the hay, grinding between Handsome’s teeth, was the only sound in the stable and Luke peeked over the wooden partition to check on Danny. He smiled when he saw the boy leaning with his back against Dawn, his eyes closed.
“That accident, two days ago…”
Luke nodded, returning to the grooming.
“What about it?”
“That little boy…”
“Tristan…” Luke said.
“Yeah. Tristan. He died, right?”
“He did,” Luke confirmed.
“He was about my age.”
“He was.”
“That’s weird.”
Luke’s hand stopped again.
“Why do you think that’s weird?”
“My age…”
Luke frowned. He could sense Danny’s agitation, but he wasn’t sure about the reason.
“Yeah, that happens sometimes,” Luke tried, “children dying.”
“But that’s weird,” Danny repeated. “They just got here. And then they’re gone.”
Oh boy.
“I know. It’s tough, but it’s how life works, I guess.”
“Why?”
Luke bit his lip. So this was karma. He remembered how he asked the ‘why’ question many, many times when he was young and now he was in his parent’s shoes. Good luck with that.
“I don’t really know. It’s always sad when somebody dies, but that’s one of things that we all have in common. Eventually we all die.”
“I don’t understand why we should.”
“That’s out of our control, sweetie. It’s a fact of life.”
“And no one knows when…”
“Nope,” Luke tried to say as light-hearted as possible, but silently thinking about the young men and women choosing to end their life, because society told them they didn’t deserve to live. Just because they didn’t fit the picture society had created as ‘this is how you should act and look like’.
“That’s scary,” the boy whispered and Luke now openly leaned over the partition to give his son an encouraging smile.
“It is, but it’s also a good helper…”
That had the boy’s attention and without leaving his place against the warm body of his pony, he turned his head and looked at his father.
“Helper? How?”
“It helps us to keep in mind that we should enjoy every day as much as possible, because we don’t know if there will be a tomorrow.”
Danny frowned.
“That’s still scary.”
“It’s only scary if you let it scare you,” Luke smiled. “I’m not saying you should focus on the fact that we can die at any moment, but if you realize that life has an end, it helps you to enjoy the life you have.”
“You don’t think it’s scary? To die?”
“No, I don’t, to be honest. I hope I’ll live for many years to come, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not worried about it.” – I do worry about one of you dying, though.
“Will Tristan be an angel now too? Like Annie?”
“I don’t know, sweetie,” Luke smiled, “I don’t know how that works. But I like to think that Tristan is okay, somewhere else.”
“Where we can’t see him,” Danny said softly.
“Where we can’t see him.”
“He has two dads too, right?”
“Yes, he has.”
“They must be very sad.”
“They are. One of them is Mr. McTaylor who works here on the houses.”
Danny nodded.
“He is a nice man.”
Luke smiled. “He is.”
“But Tristan didn’t die because he had two dads, right?”
Luke was shocked.
“What? No! Why do you think that? Did someone tell you that?”
Danny shook his head, looking at the ground.
“No. But I was thinking…”
Oh boy…that child was definitely a brooder..
“Tell me,” Luke encouraged him and Danny gave him a shy smile.
“Well…because some people say it’s wrong…you know…two dads. Zoë’s uncle didn’t like it… and he’s a priest.”
Ah yes. Now Luke understood the connections his boy was making. Priest. Man of God. Death. Will of God.
“You’re right. Some people don’t approve. We talked about this, right? And I’m not gonna lie to you, Danny. Some people will tell you that two dads is evil and that God will punish us. But I don’t believe in their version of God. My God is all about love. Not gender.”
Danny nodded.
“You really love Daddy and Daddy really loves you,” he stated firmly, “and I’m glad you’re my daddies.”
“Well thank you, young man,” Luke grinned. “We’re also glad you’re our son. Just don’t let anyone tell you how to feel about anything. Daddy and I don’t. Everyone can have an opinion of their own, but that doesn’t mean we have to live by their rules.”
“So that’s not why Tristan died?”
“No, it’s not. Tristan died because he ran into the street without looking.”
Danny frowned.
“Why did he do that?”
“We don’t know,” Luke shook his head, still wondering about that. “But Dave, Mr. McTaylor, told me that Tristan loved cars. So maybe he saw a car he liked…”
“Sad,” Danny turned around and starting brushing Dawn again.
“It is. But it’s also a lesson.”
“Don’t run into the street without looking,” Danny smiled.
“Exactly. Stay focused and be safe. Never go riding without a helmet,” Luke grinned and they both chuckled.
“Daddy would kill me if I did,” Danny said and Luke laughed.
“I’m sure he would get very angry…and so would I. And Grandpa Holden. So let’s get our stuff together before Grandpa is here.”
***
When he left Bob’s – after another very tasteful lunch – he happened to overhear the status of a new arrival and the words hammered a way through his chest.
‘Young boy. Riding accident. Injured…’
He didn’t even store the rest of the information, but he quickened his pace and when he saw Holden talking to Dr. Bill Rainsby, he felt like throwing up and passing out, not necessarily in that exact order.
He vaguely heard a female voice addressing him, but he didn’t register the words. She might have been a nurse. He didn’t care and focused on the two men in the hallway. Why wasn’t he paged? Why wasn’t he texted? Luke! Where was Luke?
Then a child’s voice entered his shocked brain.
“Dadddddddddddddddddy!”
On automatic pilot he squatted and it took him a few seconds to realize who he was holding. Danny! Danny was alright!
Reid lifted the boy and held him tighter than necessary.
“Hey there, Tiger! What are you doing here?” And who is the young boy in a riding accident?
