Peter made a picture of my face today in hospital, because he wanted to show how the fabric of the mask had left a mark on my face.
Well, it left a mark on my soul too. This was no fun, putting it very mildly. I can see the horror in my eyes on this picture. Yes, it was THAT bad. It started out pretty good with a clear talk about the 30 radiation treatments I will have. And the mask thing wasn’t t…hat bad either. It was a soft and warm kind of plastic that was placed over my face, but with room to breathe. Than I had the CAT scan, so I was left alone and then the plastic hardened. Scary stuff if you’re clastrofobic like I am. I felt trapped. And then I remembered what I wrote here earlier and leaned back into your love. And it actually worked. I calmed down. Somewhat. My hody went in some sort of shock, though. It didn’t stopped shaking and in the privacy of our own toilet I threw up. Still feeling sick as we speak. This was heavy shit.
Good news is that we don’t have any hospital appointments this coming week. So I can finally relax !!!! O happy days!!!
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