Sylicious' Braindumps

….On the road with a brain tumor

13 Loving my tumour?

Written By: SYL - Mar• 17•13

What an amazing journey this is. These last few days, or weeks even, I’ve received some important pieces of this jigsaw puzzle, also known as process. It’s fascinating how clear your mind gets when there’s a tumour in it.

One of the first things I noticed during this new path, was the gathering of all the different groups in my life. A coming together of all the previous paths. That feels special. A reflection of who I am and what I’ve done. And it fills me with gratitude and pride. So that’s good 😛

It’s also very useful. For instance: one of the main messages of my Word Soap is ‘Trust the Love’ and that has been my anchor for the last Weeks. So hearing the doctor talk about this aggressive and disruptive presence in my brain, I was kinda suprised by that. Not because I’m not aware (or ignoring) of my own ability of being aggressive, but because I didn’t understood the bigger picture. Why was I confronted with something this aggresive, when… I already acknowledge that aspect inside of me. From the start I’ve refused to perceive this tumour as the enemy.

I strongly feel it’s a messenger. It’s here to help me grow. To discover more aspects of my being. And I had discovered a lot already. A lot about the growth I already experienced. How things that feel real to me in theory, actually work in reality. How powerful we all are. How feeling happy, grateful etc is a choice. It’s not the circumstance that dictates how we feel. It’s our own choice.

That’s one of the major things this tumour is showing me.
I’m not a victim, because this isn’t a battle. This is not about being right or wrong. It’s about trusting the love. That’s why this aggressive presence is in my brain. To experience on a deeper level that aggression can not drive out agression. Love can.

13

I understand that the concept of ‘loving your tumour’ sounds beyond weird, but that’s okay. Just sharing my thoughts, not asking or expecting you to adopt them.

Major pitfall is to focus on end result. On this event-page I’ve asked your help with tranforming this tumour into something harmless, like an infection. And that’s about the process. The connecting of loving energy. The bigger picture is the realization that this aggressive tumour is already harmless too. Yes, according to the doctors this tumour will limit the time I’ll have on earth. First…none of us will get out alive, so death is a given. But it can never limit my love for life. It may even have increased it.

So even if my time on earth will still be limited, don’t see it as a failure. Don’t say it didn’t work. Focus on the process. Trust the love. Listen to the messages this process offers you. Feel your power of choice. Discover all aspects of your being.

Focus on the WHAT IS. It’s a present. Look for the beauty of it. You are love. Yes, you are loved too, but You Are Love. Trust that. Trust the love. I do. And I love it xxxx

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